


Slow Burn

by padmehq



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Bisexual Miya Atsumu, Enemies to Lovers, Established Relationship, Falling In Love, Falling Out of Love, Fluff, Haikyuu smut, Haikyuu!! Manga Spoilers, Heartbreaking, Heratbreak, Jealous Sakusa Kiyoomi, Kissing, Lovers To Enemies, M/M, MSBY Black Jackals - Freeform, Sad love, Sexual Content at the end, Slow Burn, Smut, atsumu x sakusa, miya atsumu - Freeform, miya osamu - Freeform, sakusa kiyoomi - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-26
Updated: 2021-01-17
Packaged: 2021-03-11 02:15:07
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 15,114
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28227486
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/padmehq/pseuds/padmehq
Summary: What happens when you truly love someone, but at the same time get sick of them?Sakusa Kiyoomi  and Miya Atsumu couldn’t be more different and yet they fell hard for each other.Someone said make it slow burn but reverse. Will they make it work or fall out of love?Lovers or Enemies or just Team Mates?I really want this to be a heartbreaking lil story.
Relationships: Miya Atsumu/Sakusa Kiyoomi
Kudos: 13





	1. Spicy Food

**Author's Note:**

> English ain’t my first language so if I make mistakes I’m sorry, please feel free to tell me :)

“So then I said to Samu, listen and you know how he never- Atsumu stop mid sentence in his funny story and raised one of his brows.  
He didn't know what it was, but he could tell by looking at Omi that something was off.  
"What is it?" he wanted to know, trying hard not to sound annoyed.

This was supposed to be a romantic weekend. They hadn't seen each other in two whole weeks and he missed his damn Sakusa.

The last date had fallen through cause Sakusa couldn't, or rather wouldn't, leave Tokyo by train. Sure he didn't like big crowds and no one could drive him that weekend, so their date got cancelled.  
Even though he had apologized, Atsumu was still slightly pissed off about it. He wanted to be understanding, but did that mean his boyfriend couldn't even take the train to see him? Omi was a 19 years old uni student. He should be able to take the train.  
"You know I don't like the hot spice stuff?" Kiyoomi's long fingers pointed at the red spice mixture Atsumu was about to add to the meat in the pan, but then he lowered his hand back down.  
He had to take a deep breath for a moment.  
"First you make me wash all the already clean things again, then I have to take a fresh towel to wipe them dry and then I have to wash my hands for the 18th time to then cook food and now you're complaining about the spice?", in all honesty this behavior seemed to him almost criminal and yet the blond could not help a big grin.  
Sakusa tilted his head slightly, of course he was happy when Tsumu wanted to cook for him. And he knew that the demands were surely getting on his nerves so he didn't want to queue unnecessarily. Yes, he didn't like spicy food.

Besides, this wasn't the first time he had given him that info. But instead of saying that the exact same spice was available for purchase in mild, he shrugged slightly and leaned forward a bit.  
“The spice is gonna be fine, sorry I can eat it," he assured him.  
"Uh-huh, ya sure?" his counterpart wanted to know skeptically. No, he would burn his tongue on it and surely get a stomach ache, but he really didn't want to provoke an argument now.  
"Sure. Just don't put too much." Sakusa whispered afterward, watching as his boyfriend nodded and dumped just a little of the red powder over the pan.  
"Where is your brother anyway?"; Kiyoomi then wanted to know. Samu and Tsumu shared a pretty little apartment.

  
"Hm, with Suna at the movies I think” - and that's only cause I gave him some damn money for it, so he's out of the house and I can finally spend time alone with you lil pain in the ass- Tsumu added in his mind. He had to beg Samu on his knees to leave them alone today and had only been able to convince him by giving him his last 4,500 yen. That left him broke for the rest of the month. Not that he was about to invest the 4,500 yen in any meaningful way, but Samu's satisfied grin had pissed him off. After all, as a younger brother, he could have just listened to him for once and cleared the field. He did the same when Samu had someone over.

  
"Did you get the recipe from Samu?" asked Kiyoomi, thinking nothing of the question.

But Tsumu who was already annoyed with his brother, took the question almost as an insult.  
"Nope, it’s from Insta. The prince of Onigiri is no Gordon Ramsey, ok? If you joined the social media world even you would maybe discover something new every now and then?" Sakusa let the corners of his mouth hang down involuntarily. It was true that he had an account but he never used it, he didn't even know if the app was still installed on his phone. Almost the whole uni and a bunch of volleyball fans followed him, after all he was one of the top 3 aces and pretty famous for college vollyball.  
It shouldn't have been a reproach either, but it came across harsher than necessary. Atsumu actually thought it was cute that Omi- Omi didn't have Insta and had downloaded SnapChat just because of him.

But what on earth did he have to mention Samu for?

This person had clearly robbed him and now he was getting the credits for the food too?  
"I'll set the table, then we can eat and watch the season finale later?"; Atsumu nodded quickly and turned off the stove before chopping the herbs.

Shit. He had already watched the season finale last week, out of sheer spite because Omi didn't want to take the train.

Besides, he was impatient and Samu had already seen it. Briefly panic flashed over him and he looked up from the cutting board and glanced at Omi neatly setting the table and now he was feeling frickin sorry.

Why couldn’t he wait.

  
"Oh fucki- ouch- fu-ah shit!"; Karma. Shit.

  
"Did you hurt yourself?"; Omi was right next to him with two quick steps, raising both eyebrows.  
"You cut yourself." he stated, looking tensely at the setter's hand.  
"Oh, come on."; grumbled the blond and put his finger in his mouth without thinking.

If it was possible, Omi contorted his face even further and now looked at him in real horror.  
“Shut it."; hissed Atsumu now really annoyed, and briskly opened one of the shelves to get a band-aid. He could already hear Sakusa's angry voice in his mind.  
Igh. Bla bla unsanitary. Blah blah. Clean up. Blaa bla inflammation. Bla-  
"I'll do it, wait.", now Atsumu was the horrified one.  
"Omi-Omi- he whispered and watched as the black haired man took his hand, gently twisted it and then sprayed it with a small spray.  
"Ouch, damn what's that!".  
"Disinfectant spray. Stop the screaming.” Omi replied as if it was natural to pull a disinfectant spray out of his pants pocket.  
"Do you always have that with you?", Atsumu wanted to laugh out loud and make fun of him violently but his cut did burn a lot.  
"Of course."; Kiyoomi said and concentrated on applying the band-aid.  
Atsumu slowly leaned against the kitchen island and let his new personal nurse do his thing.

He thought of about 2 million jokes about the fact that Kiyoomi Sakusa carried a small disinfectant spray with him all of the time.

But he decided to shut it, no one stupid punchline left his side lips. The scene was just too damn cute.  
He hadn't really paid attention to it, but except for the greeting hug, today was the first time he stood so close to his boyfriend.

Omi’s warm fingers felt so familiar on his skin.  
He could also smell the shower gel and shampoo and the numerous other skin care products that made up this perfect mixture of his lovely boyfriend.  
"Good?", Omi's dark eyes sparkled proudly meeting exactly those of Tsumu, who was looking at him properly for the first time today.  
"Couldn't be better, Darlin'." He confirmed with his adorable wide smile. Tsumu knew his effect on Kiyoomi very well and only had to wait a brief moment before Omi blushed.  
"Stop it.” The black-haired man admonished him and felt the heat on his face.

  
But Atsumu only took this reaction as an invitation to tease his dear boyfriend even more. After all, someone had to do it.  
"Stop what? You practically saved me, I want to thank you. C’mere.” He extended his arm to Omi who shyly turned away at first but then turned his head back again.  
"Tsumu."; he muttered with a heated voice.  
"Omi-Omi, I just wanna say thank you. I promise." outright liar. Kiyoomi knew it, he nevertheless took a step towards the blond with the irresistible smile and was immediately pulled into a hug.  
Atsumu wrapped his outstretched arm around Omi's neck and elegantly pulled him closer until he felt both of Kiyoomi's hands on his chest.  
Tsumu started a gentle play with his fingers on the younger's neck and gave him a winning grin, because no matter what the two did it was always a competition.

Therefore, there was always a _winner_ and a _loser_.

  
And Tsumu would never accept defeat, which is why every kiss he elicited from Omi tasted a little bit like victory.

Well, more than just a little bit. That taste was addictive. Even there first kiss had that effect on him.  
"Tsu-mh air-mh.” Although Atsumu knew that his pretty boyfriend was running out of air and so was he, he didn't want to remove his lips under any circumstances from the soft paradise Omi was giving him. Omi had placed both hands loosely on the setter's shoulders and Atsumu only separated from him when Kiyoomi tapped the blond's shoulder with three fingers of his right hand.  
Atsumu reacted instantly, loosening his grip on Omi's neck and letting them both breathe again. He wasn't even hungry anymore, already completely forgetting about food, all he wanted was Omi- Omi.  
This little tap gesture was by far the sweetest thing he had ever experienced.  
The tap could mean many things. Somehow it was their lil secret sign.  
From I want your attention to let me breathe you weirdo. Fixated on Kiyoomi's lips, Atsumu couldn't help but take one more.

The more Kiyoomi let him do the more his mood rose up again.  
Atsumu's hand wandered all by itself under Kiyoomi's shirt and ran over his fascinatingly soft skin. At the same time, he rubbed his right knee against Omi's inner thigh, which made Omi moan softly into the kiss.  
"I'm glad you're so grateful."; that little provocative undertone in Omi's voice awakened a real fire in Tsumu before Omi put it right back out with a bucket of cold water.  
"We should eat. Before everything gets cold."  
“Aw dude. Always so reasonable. You're so frickin’ boring."; Atsumu instantly complained as if his favorite toy had been taken away from him. Kiyoomi could have sworn he had even lightly stomped his foot on the ground.  
He was so childish and moody as hell. Omi didn't think he was boring? What was that even supposed to mean?  
"The herbs are fucked. There's blood everywhere.", Atsumu announced annoyed.  
”I'm sure it tastes good without."; Omi tried to cheer him up, still a little perplexed by the sudden change in mood.  
Atsumu plopped himself down at the table with little appetite wishing a good meal and then stuffing his pretty face like this was his first meal in 7 months.

His table manners were a disaster. Omi suffered physical agony watching him. He so often asked him not to eat like an animal, but Atsumu was resistant to advice. Osamu was able to eat normally?  
Omi knew it was never a good idea to compare the two, Atsumu hated it, so he just kept that thought to himself. It was still hard for him not to stare at the man during the massacre he was making at the table.  
"Tastes really good." Omi forced himself to smile even though he wanted to yell at Atsumu to stop stuffing his mouth like a madman and spreading everything left and right on the table. But instead, he just smiled.  
"Ah, really? Yeah, not too spicy ah?" Atsumu swallowed a huge chunk of course not without choking, but because Omi already saw this coming so he immediately handed him the water.  
"Thank you, Sir.”  
"You're welcome."  
"Thank you for cooking."  
"For you, gladly." Atsumu actually paused for a moment to catch his breath, but half the plate had already disappeared, he placed his hand open on the table. Clearly an invitation.  
Wordlessly, Omi grabbed his hand and held them together as he continued to eat.  
"You are so clingy. G- how am I supposed to eat like this?" Tsumu complained after only half a minute. Guess the break was over and it was time to inhale the rest of his plate. But Omi thought this scene was kind of cute, despite his anxiety from watching Atsumu eat.  
"I'm not clingy!"; he protested, after a moment's consideration. He would not let go of his dear boyfriend's hand. That didn't make one clingy.  
"Whatever. Yes you are."; Atsumu announced before sinking a full spoonful of food into his mouth.  
"Not at all."  
“Ah yeah bet ya. Forcing me to hold your hand while eating. That's high level clingy.”  
“Fine." Softly exhaling, he released his hand again, instantly missing the warmth. He picked up the water as a substitute and took a small sip.  
"Are you mad now? Seriously?” Atsumu just emptied the last spoonful and spoke with his mouth full. _Disgusting_.  
Kiyoomi just shook his head.

No manners.

What was that all about?  
He was not angry.

Really not. He was only _disappointed_ and somehow _hurt_?


	2. Chapter 2- Netflix And No Chill

Atsumu’s POV 

"Do you think they'll make it in the end?", Omi’s eyes were practically glued to the TV.  
The season finale was exciting, but not if you'd already seen it.  
And 50 minutes was a long time when you knew what was going to happen at the end of the episode.  
At the beginning I managed to concentrate quite well, but after 20 minutes it was over. I was done with it for sure.  
"Yeah." I replied and quickly lifted my gaze from my phone. We were still only halfway through the episode.  
I felt the questioning look of Omi on me. Fuck. I had to focus on the TV, otherwise he would notice that I had already seen the episode.  
Carefully, I lowered my phone and pulled Omi closer to me.  
He didn’t seemed suspicious after all, because he just snuggled closer to me.  
He was so clingy.

The next 10 minutes dragged like crazy. It was so boring, I was about to pass out. I started playing with my handsome boyfriend's darker curls, just to keep myself from reaching for my phone.  
Again, I drew in deeply the mint scent of his shampoo, or was that conditioner? Or a mask?  
Whatever, it smelled heavenly and so I immediately sank my whole face into his fluffy curls.  
"Tsum what are you doing?", I was well aware of how annoying I was right now, but I heard him laughing softly so everything was cool, right? 

"Nothing" I squinted my eyes and took another deep breath, when suddenly I realized that I couldn't hear the TV anymore.  
I enjoyed this absolute harmony for a bit longer and then finally looked up. Omi moved a little bit to get up and I kinda saw trouble coming my way.  
And yet somehow I couldn't stop smiling .  
"You've already seen the episode, haven't you?"; sussed. Crap. 

"No, what makes you think that?"; Plan A denial. 

"Usually you're always bitching at me when I'm supposedly too clingy because then you can't focus on the show and now-  
"You said it! You're too much of a distraction. I can't concentrate on anything when you're next to me." Plan B blame it on someone else. 

Omi squished up his own face. I saw the suspicious pinkish red glow on his cheeks despite the dim lighting in my bedroom.  
"Mh, do you want to keep watching or what?" I really, like really really, didn’t want to keep watching, after all I was bored, I'd rather keep teasing him. Was just way more fun. 

“Let's do this instead- I pressed Omi's surprised face with my fingers and crashed my lips awkwardly to his cheek and then to his mouth.  
All just to climb over him and then place myself over a very embarrassed Kiyoomi. His hands moved only hesitantly, he was always so careful at first almost shy.  
"At least admit you watched the episode.” Demanded this one now, making what I personally thought a pretty cute face. 

"I haven't." Plan C distraction. I ruthlessly took his lips with a thick smirk.  
I could feel the black-haired man's laughter, but continued on my game.  
"Admit it."; he groaned out between kisses.  
“Tsum-mh just admit it." nah never. 

This time, Omi gripped my cheeks with his index finger and thumb, focusing my attention back on his dark eyes.  
His lips curling into a beautiful smile.  
"Just admit it or I won't make out with you any longer." Ouch. Damn. That was mean. I still wouldn't admit it thought. 

"Omi-Omi you're mean." as if all strength had left me I just let myself fall on my boyfriend.  
I heard how Omi had to gasp briefly and put, however, unimpressed my head on his chest. I hope I squish him. I tried to hide my face completely in his chest.  
Actually this was his favorite position and he was right, that shit was comfortable. Although Omi was of course in top shape, I was lying on soft clouds.  
He was a perfect smooth and fluffy pillow. 

"Tsum you are really heavy. Just admit it.", Omi complained. 

"Really heavy? You're bigger than me.” I explained without thinking much. He was taller, so he shouldn't act up on it. 

"Oh, I know I'm way bigger than you"; the sarcastic and almost arrogant tone of voice made my head immediately jump up and I pushed myself up on both arms to hover right over his face.  
I gave him an amusing look raising my brows.  
Omi actually couldn't stop smiling.  
" I had to-  
"Thinking you're pretty funny huh?"; I interrupted Omi's giggle. 

He just gave me a little smile, which I knew all too well.  
This smile spoke more than a thousand words could and I loved it. Yet, so many things flashed through my mind at his smile. It exuded so much trust and somehow I just felt like I didn't really deserve it. I lied to him so often without really feeling bad and I was damn sure Kiyoomi would never lie to me.  
I didn't really mean any harm, but I also wasn't going to explain to him that I was mad that he didn't want to take the train to see me despite being an adult, so I watched the show without him. 

"Let's keep watching, pretty.” I said then and rolled to the side.  
"Ya sure?" he did look like as if he didn't really buy my suggestion.  
"Sure. Go ahead, I can still teach you some manners after this." I stated confidently. 

“You? Me? Manners?" now he actually laughed out loud, which really didn't happen often.  
This was rare.  
I propped my head on one arm and watched him dreamily. Since he was more of a serious type guy seeing him laugh always made me feel special.  
"You're clearly the funny one. ” He then said after wiping the tears of laughter from his eyes. 

The damn season finale dragged on endlessly and I faked a surprised face at the end.  
We chatted about the last episode, about Omi's project at Uni next week, and then I heard Samu, that god damn thief, entering the door outside. 

"Hey.", we both called out in response to his "Am home." but without getting up of course.  
"Aren't we going to say hello quickly?", Omi made an effort to get up, but I shook my head. 

"No, man who cares. You can say hello to him in the morning too. I want to stay in bed.”  
I didn't want to complain, but if this person gets up now, I’m loosing it. Big time. Luckily for him, he stayed down and I quickly put an arm around his middle. 

Some episode of an Anime that we both already watched was playing in the background, but we were entertained with light fumbling.  
"We can go out for dinner tomorrow after my game.”  
"I think that might be too tight. I still have to finish my university project" I sighed annoyed. Always this university crap. 

"Is the project thingy really that important? You've been talking about it for weeks."  
How time consuming can a single project be, please?  
"It's an important project over the whole semester.” He clarified. 

"Yes, but breaks are important, too. You should take Sundays off, I skipped my practice today.” for you idiot.  
“I'm at your game tomorrow. And the deadline is in two weeks so.” The mood was down. Wonderful. 

“Oh ok, you don’t have to come if you don’t want to.” 

“I never said that. I wanna see you I even-

“Na, if ya too busy-

“Tsumu I wanna come, I never said otherwise.”

I rolled my eyes and he looked at me like I was speaking a different language.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you liked it :)


	3. Games

Atsumu’s POV 

I woke up way too early.  
Why is it, that you always wake up early when you could sleep in.  
Besides, that way I would only be more tired at the game later.  
I tried to close my eyes again and fall back asleep, but of course I didn't succeed.  
Was it because of the fight yesterday? Or the excitement before the game today?  
Or the fact that Omi practically uses me as a pillow, mattress and blanket all at the same time?  
I tried to pull the real blanket over both of us with my free hand, ya know the one which wasn't taken hostage, but it didn't really work very well.  
Now that I was awake, I was also getting cold. 

I was bored again, but I didn't want to wake him up either.  
I could not move either.  
Our legs were tangled, his hand under my shirt and his head on my shoulder, the other hand holding mine tightly.  
At least it gave me some time to think. I shouldn't have been so hard on him yesterday.  
Just because I'm not a student doesn't automatically make his priorities less worthy.  
I was aware of that, but I didn't want to move from my point of view either.  
Sure I was happy that he was gonna come to my game, but I just wanted more.  
I wanted more attention and more time with him.  
I just wasn’t gonna beg him nor admit it.  
So why couldn’t he take a Sunday off. 

After all, I had skipped my training for him.  
My pro training for him. Not some second class college practice thing. The real deal.  
Was that appreciated, no? I hated going to bed angry because then this shit happened.  
I think about it all morning and go over the discussion 1000 more times in my head.  
No wonder I had slept so poorly. 

I had more than enough fans who would be so grateful to spend even half an hour with me, but my boyfriend barely looks my way.  
I sighed softly. Although we both fell asleep with our backs to each other, this black-haired tick still managed to attach itself to me in my sleep.  
So I'm an insensitive egotist but good enough for cuddling, huh? 

Speaking of the devil, Kiyoomi moved slightly, raised his head briefly and then lowered it again.  
I waited another moment to see if he was awake, but he still seemed to be asleep. I could feel his quiet breathing, so I just put my arm around him and enjoyed the morning silence some more. Since there wasn’t really anything else I could do.  
I was absolutely sure that Omi would not hold a grudge, he was a realistic person. Holding grudges for a long time did nothing for him.  
One of his best qualities.  
As deep in thought as I was, I didn't really notice my arm gently stroking his side, I quickly stopped as not to wake him, but as soon as my arm stoped Omi's head shot up and looked at me almost reproachfully.  
"Why did you stop?".  
"Good morning to you, too. Babe.”  
"Morning. Miya."  
Instantly, a smile settled on my lips.  
Omi stretched for a moment and left his leg between mine and then rested his chin on my chest and looked up on me.  
“Did you sleep well?" he wanted to know.  
"So-so."  
"No wonder it's really cold without a blanket." oh, really? Ya kidding me?

He pulled the blanket over us and almost disappeared under it. 

"When do we have to get up?" he wanted to know completely innocently.  
"About 40 minutes."  
"Perfect."  
"Perfect for what?", I raised an eyebrow.  
The argument hadn't really left my head.  
But when Omi's fingertips wandered along my inner thigh, the discussion was forgotten rather quickly. 

I became really hot under this damn blanket within seconds. Two weeks was a damn long time.  
The desire to be touched became more and more unbearable from second to second. Touch in all the right places.  
Touched by someone who knew your weakest spots and made an effort to hit em all at once.  
I could hardly keep still and he had hardly done anything. Usually he was the easy one.  
I hadn't even realized how badly I needed him until now. I pressed my lips together and held my breath tensely.  
I wanted a kiss so bad but did enjoy his head down there.  
Agonizingly slowly he pulled down my boxers freeing my already hardend cock.  
"So needy for me, ah? Haven't even really touched you yet.” he teased. He always did.

"Need ya so bad Babe." I pressed out. His fingers finally gripped around my hard length and a relieved sigh escaped my lips.  
I wanted to claw at his shoulder, needing something to hold on to, but Omi raised an index finger and cooed with his lips just right before my dick, "Ah, Ah. Tsum, we wanna save those pretty hands for the game. No touching." 

I felt his warm breathing on my wet skin.  
I swallowed hard.  
My hands balled into fists and I hit the mattress as he took me in his mouth.  
The feeling was almost overwhelming. My eyes rolling back from pleasure.  
Not a second later the room was filled with my moans and the sweet, messy sloppy sounds of a blow job. 

"Fuck Omi-Omi-Fuck.” I melted under his tongue and was already gasping wildly for some air.  
Little beads of sweat covered my whole body and I clawed my hands into the blanked as Omi decided to torture me.  
He pulled his mouth back, long strings of saliva trailing through the air. 

"You're not coming already are you, we have 40 minutes.” His voice so full of cocky confidence. Made me frickin weak.

“Fuck Omi Please-  
“Already begging? Didn’t even take me a minute.” He hummed. 

He was about to ruin me. I was gonna fall apart right here.  
“Ya not gonna tease me for 40 minutes?”, my voice was shaky.  
I was truly scared he was gonna do this to me. 

This man was merciless. He smiled back at me knowing exactly what I was thinking giving me a devilish grin.  
I almost chocked when he went back to sucking me off. 

“Omi feels so good. Oh you’re the best. Always making me feel so god damn- he was a clean tidy man who hates germs, but surly he knew how to get down and dirty.  
No living being would’ve ever guested that his pretty mouth was absolut filth. 

He gave me a knowing look and slowed down again. I was about to lose it. 

“I wanna hear you beg. Wanna hear your pretty voice. Come on. Maybe I’ll show some pity.”

“Fuck. I love ya so much.” A loud moan left my lips. I was one ruined orgasm away from screaming my lungs out.  
He still didn’t allow me to touch him, so I buried my fingers in the sheets. I was struggling for some air. I was feeling dizzy in the best way possible. 

“Omi-Omi please let me oh-ah cum. Please I love you. Love ya so -so damn much. Please -plea-ah-Ah!-  
I chocked on my own words when he finally let me have the high he took from me so easy. 

Completely overwhelmed and exhausted, I let myself fall back into bed. It took me more than a few minutes to come down.  
My hands automatically reached for Omi. Which pulled my hand to his face and pressed a gentle kiss on my knuckles.  
I was only half aware of this, as I was completely focused of catching my breath.  
Even with my eyes closed, I could feel Omi's satisfied grin. 

"Now I'm way too spend for the game."  
"Bit dramatic, ah?" He pinched my side and I had to hold back a laugh. 

"We still have thirty minutes, let's continue in the shower." I suggested and sat up.  
Omi nodded enthusiastically and somehow the 30 minutes turned into an hour.  
I got to the game a little rushed but on time. It was going pretty well until our wing spiker hurt his foot and dropped out.  
Although we lost, I wasn't in a bad mood at all. Seeing Omi in his fan jersey of me, made me way too proud.  
He printed it himself wich gave me butterflies. I would've loved to take him all over the arena just to show his pretty ass off. 

Without showering, I said goodbye to the guys pretty quickly to meet Omi outside the arena. I didn't have time for the fans or anything else, I only wanted to spend the last few minutes with Omi.  
After all, his sister would be here to pick him up any minute. 

"You could have taken a shower." Oh please. Shut it.

"You might have been gone by then. But I knew you'd say that."  
There was just no winning with this person. I hurry like a madman and he grumbles anyway.  
Kiyoomi wrinkled his nose and looked at me as if I were a little germ you'd better not touch. 

"We haven't talked about when we'll see each other again?  
I don't want to be without you for two weeks again," I avoided eye contact why did I had to say it like that. 

There was a short silence and I felt absolutely uncomfortable. Now I was begging for attention.  
Made me look stupid. Great. 

"Oh well look at that someone is clingy." He laughed softly and fished for my hand, which I pulled away in a huff.  
Why did he have to make fun of me?

"Just kidding, come on.” he tried to catch me but I turned away. 

"Tsumu, don't be offended." he kept giggling and walked around to face me.  
"Are you blushing?" now I really had enough. 

"Just say when you don't have time for me.”

"I never said that." Omi raised his hand in confusion as if surrendering to the police and annoyed I stared at the floor. 

"Tsumu I want to see you as much as possible too, why are you mad at me now? Because I made a little joke? You keep saying stuff like that to me on a daily." I looked at him.  
What's that supposed to mean?

"Not true at all," I grumbled. Omi looked at me and I at him.  
There was an oppressive silence. 

That son of a bitch raised both his arms and gave me a big smile. 

"C'mere. Don't be silly now."  
The corners of my mouth went straight up into a smile of surrender.  
How could I say no to that.  
I wrapped my arms around his middle and he wrapped his around my neck and then crossed them behind my back. 

"You better watch out I'm not showered. All dirty ya know.” 

"Yeah, I'm about to put on my mask."

Annoyed, I looked at him only to see directly into his amused smile. Son of a bitch.


	4. Worlds Away

Kiyoomi’s POV 

How could a person be so insensitive with catastrophic timing and yet so delicate at the same time.   
I make a joke once and he immediately snaps. When we first met I thought he was pure evil.   
But on a second thought I came to conclusion that he was just a scared little kid.   
He never waned to look weak or vulnerable, I mean I can understand theses sort of feeling.   
I was very much like that. I was just way better in hiding it. 

Although I would’ve really liked to put on my mask and shower this idiot in disinfectant spray I withhold myself.   
Instead, I pressed him closer to me and gave him a kiss on the forehead.   
"So when are we going to see each other again?" I barely understood him as he mumbled the words against my jacket. 

"Umm, I don’t know I- have an important college project and can't go to your place during the week, so stop crying.   
We’re gonna see each other in like 2 weeks. I could’ve said that, of course. But I withhold myself. 

"You could come visit me?" I suggested, although that option wasn't any better, because even so I'd have to deal with my uni stuff and wouldn't really have time for him.   
And he was a time consuming bitch. Full attention or throwing a bad tantrum. 

"Then I'll have to skip practice again." He sighed and I did the same. 

"Weekend again then?", I suggested even though I knew it would be the last days before the project was due.   
But I didn't want to disappoint Tsumu like that. 

"Promise?", hopeful like a child looking at Santa Claus his eyes lit up. I bit my tongue. I knew I shouldn't make promises I couldn't keep, and yet I did. 

"I promise." I whispered softly and Tsumu nodded much more happily now.   
What else was I going to do if he gave me those puppy eyes? 

After all, I wanted to spend time with him too, but could he accommodate me just once?   
Two weeks wasn’t that long.

There was a depressing mood in my sister's car. 

"Kiyoomi do you want to talk about it?" I looked up from my phone and shook my head.   
Why was I feeling down? 

"Did you guys have a fight?" I knew she would keep bugging me. But I still didn't want to talk about it.   
She possibly knew good advise, after all, she was the oldest. 

"No. Not really. I mean kind of. I don't know. I feel bad."

"Uh-huh." Was all she did, speeding down the highway.   
"Why do you feel bad?" she then said. Stubbornly, I kept my eyes on the road. 

"I have the big university project in two weeks and Tsumu wants to see me more often, but I don't have time. And he doesn't want to skip his training, which I can understand of course, wouldn't want to either. And he was mad because I didn't want to take the train last week and I can understand that too-

"You had a panic attack at the train station, it wasn't your fault," she interrupted me angrily.

“ I didn't tell him." I mumbled into my mask. 

"What, why not?" she braked unexpectedly and I held onto the door. 

"Because it's embarrassing." And I don't want to talk about it. She averted her eyes from the road and gave me a withering look. 

"Well, it doesn't matter. He was pissed, watched the series finale without me, and then earlier, we couldn't agree on when to meet again, so I lied and promised next weekend, but I already know it's going to be really tight to get the project done by then," I explained and she nodded mutely. 

I felt really uncomfortable, I felt this restlessness in my whole body. It was like a river that you couldn't stop.   
It sometimes started slowly but this time it was faster. I held onto the door handle the whole way to calm myself down.   
Tsumu didn't text me the rest of the day, which was really unusual.   
That didn't make it any better. 

Nevertheless, I concentrated on my university assignments with my project group in the evening.

Monday passed and Atsumu still didn't contact me. Not even one single Snap.   
He was so cheap.   
So I decided to just send him a voice message. He listened to it right away, but didn't answer. 

I was just gonna focus on the university.   
I sat in the library right before uni volleyball startet and sat down again after the shower to somehow get everything done by the weekend. 

On the way home, I decided to call Tsumu.   
It was late but tomorrow would be another stressful day and I really wanted to hear his voice. 

It rang forever until he finally answered. Son of a bitch. I knew he was playing hard to get that attention seeking idiot. 

"Omi?", Tsumu sounded a bit sleepy.

"Did I wake you up?" Crap. I didn't want to wake him up unnecessarily after all.   
"Yeah, no. I haven't really slept yet. Why are you calling?" guiltily, I looked at the clock. 

"I just wanted to hear your voice." I admitted. There was silence for a moment and then I heard him exhale loudly over the phone. 

"So you miss me already?"   
It was so good to hear his mean little undertone out of every word.   
He was such a jerk, sometimes I didn’t understand why I was putting myself through all of this. 

I had a good life be by myself. 

I didn’t need affection like he did. 

Most importantly I didn’t need constant attention like he did. 

"I always miss you." Idiot. But I do kinda need him. Make it make sense. 

"What ya up n’about?"

"I'm just walking home from college, sorry if I woke you up, but I really just wanted to chat a bit." hearing his voice felt soothing and peaceful after this busy day. 

"You're so frickin sweet. Why have you been at uni for so long?" now he sounded much more awake and I happily told him about my day.   
"G Omi, that sounds pretty exhausting and you were still at practice in between?"  
I nodded and just unlocked my dorm room. It was a cute little room with everything one needed.   
"Yeah, the workout was good, sitting all day is really annoying."

"Are you going to do this every day now?" Atsumu wanted to know, sounding really worried.   
"Eh, yeah, until we have to hand in the project and then the exam period starts, but I think I'm doing pretty well."  
I turned on the speaker and took off my shoes, washed my hands and changed my clothes, all while talking about the university and his training.   
His wing spiker was still injured. 

“Omi you should go to sleep, don't go overboard with studying tomorrow."  
"I won't. Sleep well."  
"Ya too. We'll chat tomorrow."  
"Tsumu?", I sat down on my bed and slumped backwards.   
"Ah?"   
"I love you, idiot."  
"Lol love ya too."

Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday turned out to be absolute hell.   
One member of the work group hadn't done his assignment nearly right, so now we wouldn't be able to keep up with the schedule.   
I could pretty much forget about the weekend. 

If I worked through tomorrow and then finished by Saturday morning, I could still spend all of Saturday with Atsumu if I took the fast train?   
But the thought of standing alone at the station again made me feel sick. All those people pressing around you, mingling like ants in all directions.  
If only I could teleport to the train without standing on the track for minutes waiting with the people. Becoming part of the mass.   
With no way to escape. No way out. 

Although I was tired, adrenaline ran through my body thinking about this scenario.   
I quickly shook myself and decided to block out this problem.   
I took a shower, even though I hadn't made it to practice today I was exhausted. 

Lying down felt so good but I kept going over my schedule in my head until my phone rang. 

"Omi-Omi, how was your day?", Atsumu's cheerful voice lifted my mood and I put the cell phone on speaker next to me.   
He was always so laud and all over the place.   
His obnoxious personality wouldn’t let him be a quiet collected person, even when you couldn’t hear him and only see him you just knew this bitch was laud.   
Even his bright smily was somehow offensiv. 

But right now I was so tired I couldn’t even open my eyes properly, I just chatted myself to sleep. 

I dreamed of Tsumu standing with me at the station holding my hand, although this scenario would normally have been a nightmare, I wasn't scared or panicked.   
No anxiety at all.  
I looked around in confusion as my alarm clock rang.   
The sun felt warm on my skin and I sleepily started stretching.

Did I really had a dream about the train station without having a panic attack?   
I even had a pretty positive feeling about it? How could that even be? Still confused, I sat up and shook my head. 

It took me a few minutes before I grabbed my phone and was startled to realize that I had fallen asleep while on the phone with Tsumu. 

He had made me a long voice message, sure as hell he was mad.   
But I had been really tired, oh no. I clicked on the message almost anxiously and my heart stopped for a moment until I heard Tsumu's laughter. 

Thank god he wasn't mad.   
I scratched the back of my neck in embarrassment and listened to him amusedly complaining that I had fallen asleep and then expressing concern that I shouldn't overexert myself.   
I listened to the voicemail 3 more times just to hear him laugh. He was quite concerned that I didn’t go to practice.   
True, I always went to practice, but this week was an exception. Otherwise, I wouldn't skip so lightly, but the other guys understood because, after all, uni got in their way too. 

I answered him on the way to college and we talked all day via voicememo and the longer the day got, the more desperate I became.   
The project dragged and dragged. There was just no end to it.   
Just before 8 o'clock Atsumu called me, perfect timing because I was taking a break with the others anyway. 

"Hey babe. Still at uni?", I sighed briefly and then nodded.   
"You just nodded didn't ya?"; he then asked and I heard his smirk. 

"Yep. We're still sitting on the part we had to revise. I think it's going to be a night shift." I wasn't going to complain to him but I was beyond tired.

"Babe, listen. I know we promised to see each other on the weekend, but Samu the idiot promised our parents to help them around the house or yard.   
I'm going to be busy the whole weekend and well it’s okay if we reschedule, right?"

I blinked a few times before nodding again. 

"I know you nodded, but a response would be nice." I swiped my mask down before clearing my throat briefly. 

"Sorry, yeah I, well I would love to see you of course you know I miss you. But then I'll just see you next weekend or something?", I said, thanking Samu in my mind for saving my weekend. 

Of course I would have loved to see Tsumu, I missed him every day. But this way I could fully concentrate on my university stuff.   
And that was priority number one.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy New Year To Everybody! :) 
> 
> *also I know people don't really like voice messenges but I do xD


	5. Train Wreck

Kiyoomi's POV 

Thursday came and with it, finally I finally could hand in the project. I rarely had been so relieved.  
It was like this dark cloud above my head moved.  
I was free and could breath without this weight on my shoulders.

The training after was excellent and I felt like I could just sit back and relax.  
Just chill for a few days before I had to prepare for the exams. I even went to a small bar with my friends after the workout and two extra rounds of spiking exercises.  
It wasn't too crowded and the food tasted good, as did the cocktails.  
I slept in the next day and attended my last two classes for the semester. After that, I made a study plan with my study group for next Monday and then called Tsumu.  
Finally I could spend a relaxed weekend with him. Without having to stress about any university deadlines. 

Our communication over the last few days was not really the best, we had only talked in the evening about the most necessary things, but that's why I was even more happy about the weekend.  
Although my sister had offered to drive me again, I decided to take the train.  
Since my dream the other day I had given it some thought and I felt kinda confident. 

She wasn't thrilled, and neither were my parents. But I surprisingly had a pretty good feeling about it.  
Last time I was forced to take the train, this time I did it cause I waned to. 

"Is your sister driving again? You'll be there for dinner?" Tsumu asked and I paused for a moment.  
If I told him I wanted to take the train he would surely make a big deal out of it and I wanted to avoid that.  
My parents and sister were stressing me out enough as it was. 

I didn't want to make a big thing out of it, the less attention the better.  
Because that way I could just change my mind and not have to tell anyone later.  
Well well, except my sister but she knew me anyway. 

"Right, but I’ll call or keep you updated. I'm looking forward to it.”

"Me too, missed ya Omi."

"I missed you first." 

“Ya supposed to say ya miss me more."

"Okay, I miss you more."

"Ya suck at this, I'll see ya later." I laughed for a second.  
I was getting nervous but Tsumu with his stupid humour made me calm.  
I didn’t even know why, I just saw his dump smile right in front of me. I finished packing my backpack and my sister texted me a  
gain.  
She might as well have some confidence in me.  
I took a deep breath, went over my strategy again, and then headed out.  
By train, I'd be at Atsumu's in an hour, and then we'd have the whole afternoon, not just the evening. 

With the mask on my face, I definitely felt safe and walked all the way to the main station.  
From my last attempt, I already knew the way to my platform.  
I was perfect in time and if I wanted to, I could turn around at any moment.  
I didn't have to do this, but I wanted to. 

Step by step, I made my way through the crowd of people to my track. It was terribly busy, but I just tried to hold in my mind the feeling I had in my dream.  
Like Tsumu was standing right next to me. Saying something extraordinary stupid, like always.

I glanced at the ad screen in front of me, this was the spot where I had failed last time.  
I had hyperventilated and run outside. I quickly shook that memory down. It had taken me almost an hour to come down from the panic attack back then. 

It had been really bad, but just because it had happened once didn't mean it would happen again.  
I mustered up all my courage and walked past the ad screen. 

I still felt pretty good.  
Not that I liked it here or anything, I avoided bumping into anyone or standing near large groups as much as possible, but luckily for me that wasn't necessary because the train was already on the track.  
As soon as I sat in my seat, my heart calmed down and I was able to sit back and relax a bit. 

I had actually made it.

And I did it without a panic attack. 

Sure I was a little sick from the excitement but I was really sitting on the train in my seat.  
I texted my sister because she wouldn't stop bugging me and listened to a podcast during the ride. 

I got off the train and moved through the station in a hurry, out into freedom. Briefly, I had to pause.  
I had really made it. I was all high on my first big success with the main station.

Quite easy without panic attack and only with some minor anxiety.  
Well, it wasn't easy, but I had the feeling that without the dream with Tsumu I wouldn't have made it. 

Slowly I walked towards the city and took my phone to call Tsumu. I'm sure he would be happy about the surprise.  
The thought and my win against the main station made me feel all hyper and giggely. 

The phone rang and rang, but Tsumu didn't answer. I tried again, but unsuccessfully.  
So I texted him and just hoped he would get back to me by the time I got to his flat. 

_Hey babe- can't right now, call u later_

__Are you home?_ _

He didn't answer anymore.  
My initial euphoria died down quite a bit, but I wasn't worried. No, why should I. 

__

Fate or karma is a funny thing. I don't believe in either of them, but Motoya did and I was sure as hell that if I told him this, even he wouldn't believe a single word. 

__

Just as I was standing at a traffic light and looking down on my phone to see if Tsumu had answered me, I spotted him right across the street.  
I was about to call his name, but the guy next to him put his arm around Tsumu's shoulder and then led him into a small cafe. 

__

__

Perplexed, I stopped at the traffic light.  
I looked to my left and to my right to see if the people around me were also horrified, but no one seemed to care. 

__

I didn't know why but I called him again as if I could wake up from this nightmare only by calling him. 

__

Was he cheating on me? 

__

Hypnotized, I walked across the street.  
Standing there like the biggest idiot ever.  
I felt like every person around me knew what was going on.  
They all knew and thats why I kept my head down.  
Too scared to look up. Scared I could see something I wouldn't understand.  
Or worse. See something I- No. 

__

He didn't answer and I pulled my mask down to take a really deep breath. 

__

What should I do?  
Drive back?  
Suddenly, being at the station again seemed impossible, as if I would suffer physical harm by only thinking about it. 

__

My hands started shaking and I clawed at my own jacket.  
What are you supposed to do in a situation like this? 

__

I trusted him he would never cheat on me, that was bullshit.  
But I didn't know the guy next to him.  
I had certainly never seen him, not at a game, not on his team, not in his circle of friends, not in the city, not in his house, not in his old school.  
So who was this person? Why wouldn’t he answer his phone?  
So many questions and I knew none of the answers. 

__

My heart was spinning. My chest hurt. 

__

My legs had carried me in front of the cafe and now I stood there.  
Stood there like an alien.  
Like I was the error. 

__

I would certainly not go in, I had the feeling that I could no longer grasp a clear thought.  
It was like trying to hit a ball that had already passed by. Completely unreachable.  
You only feel a breeze that remains. 

__

No street or traffic sounds could reach me. I felt completely alone on this street.  
None of the people here seemed to feel the biting cold. 

__

All my panic concentrated in my head as Tsumu came out laughing with the guy holding a to go cup in his hands. 

__

I wasn't a person with particularly good social skills but even I could sense the unpleasant atmosphere in the air.  
Toxic to all living beings.  
Absolutely deadly.  
I could literally taste it.  
Bitter and full of fear.  
My dark eyes met his brown ones and his coffee mug almost slipped out of his hand.

__

I knew his face inside out but I had only seen this expression once before. 

__

It was the same caught expression as when he had thrown Samu's MacBook on the floor and just as he was about to put the broken parts together Samu came into the room. 

__

He had the word guilt practically written on his forehead. In big letter for everyone to see.  
Or maybe only I could see it on his surprised face.

__

"Omi? What is- what are ya doing here, I-I thought ya weren't coming until tonight.” 

__

Hesitantly he walked up to me and then hugged me like a stranger would.  
I felt disgusting. 

__

__

"Took the train, thought I'd surprise you.”

__

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh Tsum-Tsum what is you doing o.O


	6. It's fear.

Atsumu’s POV 

Fuck. Holly crap. I’ve never been more fucked than in this moment. 

I saw pure disappointment and pain on Omi's face.   
Never before had he looked at me like this.   
No matter how shitty I behaved, he had never looked at me with so much frustration.

My mouth went dry and I was at a loss for words.   
I wanted to explain everything to him and normally I always had a suitable answer or explanation ready but this time I couldn't think straight. I had to say something urgently, but I could not cope with this look. My heart was pumping like after several hours of training. 

"Omi-Omi, eh I this is Samu's Kohai from the restaurant. We just went for a quick coffee."  
Finally the blood seemed to be flowing back in my head again.   
Yet I felt dizzy. I was gonna pass out. 

“Oh. Nice to meet you.”   
His mouth formed something that was supposed to look like a smile before he nodded.   
But the look in his eyes made me sick to my stomach.   
"Hello, nice to meet you, too.”   
I was still staring at Omi in panic, ready to run after him in case he would walk away, but he just stood there.   
A completely new thought popped into my head.   
He might leave me. Leave me for good. 

He might realise what a shitty person I was. 

Might finally come to conclusion that he is better off without me.   
Dear lord. 

"I'd get back then, see ya.” 

Even after Samu's apprentice left, we didn't move.   
I felt terrible, really guilty, an indescribable fear gripped my heart and wouldn’t let go. 

I had to fix this quickly, but I didn't know how. Everything I wanted to say sounded like a terrible cliché. 

"Omi." I reached for him and he flinched.   
My heart was near to bursting out of my chest right in his face, than he could see for himself how much I loved him. 

"Was that a date?". I shook my head vigorously. 

My heart was pounding up to my throat. I felt cold sweat on my hands.   
I simply couldn’t move, I was never this petrified before.

"No, no of course not! I -Omi. I swear it's not what it looks like! I was at Samu's and hung out in the store, he wanted to go for a coffee cause they have the best in town and that’s it. I promise ya. Please yer have to believe me. Nothing was going on.” I waved my hands in desperation to prove that I had done nothing wrong.

I wanted to undo that whole moment and erase it from my memory and his. I just wanted him to stop looking at me with such hurt.   
Why did I do this to him? He didn’t deserve this. I did. 

"Why didn't you answer me? On your phone.”  
"I didn't pay attention to my phone. It- please ya believing me, right?" a cold shiver ran down my spine.   
I felt terrible. I was about to throw up. 

Full of fear, I raised an eyebrow. 

I wanted to kill myself right here.   
Maybe I should run away?   
Away from the answer I was about to get and maybe it would hurt less to not even hear it in the first place?   
But my legs did not move. 

"And why did he put his arm around you?", Omi sounded monotone, like in an interrogation.  
Ready to ask me every little detail and take it all in to form his final judgment.   
Normale his calm face wouldn’t let ya read whites on his mind, but even he couldn’t hide his confusion right now.   
And that meant all lot. 

"Come on, it wasn’t like that. I didn’t even think about it. I only love you. Ya know that. I just went out for coffee. I promise. Please."  
I held my hand out to him while biting my lip like crazy. I was getting quieter and quieter, never before had I been so sick of my own voice. 

"Okay. I believe you." 

A wave of relief came over me and I took a step toward him to give him a hug.   
But he almost immediately dismissed me again. It was the worlds shortest hug. Cold and unforgiving. 

"Do ya wanna go home?" I asked, my voice full of fear he would say no. 

While I no longer felt like I was about to burst into flames, the feeling of throwing up became more and more present.   
I don't think I've ever been this scared in my life.   
"Okay. Tsumu I-

“Kiyoomi Sakusa, please I promise you that I would never cheat on ya. That was just a stupid coincidence and I realize how that looks but I-

"Tsumu I said I believed you. It was just weird. Stop with the names.” 

We looked at each other. I had a hard time suppressing tears.

"Omi-Omi." I pressed my face against his shoulder and not a second later felt his hand on my back.   
This time he didn’t push me away. Instead he held me in his arms.   
I didn’t even care how stupid I look right now, for almost crying on the street. But I wanted to hug all my love and his trust in me back inside of him.

"Tsum I do believe you. It's okay. Stop squishing me.” He whispered, slowly stroking up and down my back.   
Fuck. How on earth was I able to fuck up like this.   
My hands clawed into his jacket and the hoodie underneath. 

I wouldn’t let go, I was about to hold him so tightly that he couldn’t get away even if he waned to. 

Desperately I drew in his scent and suppressed any tears.   
I didn't want to lose Omi under any circumstances. 

“Tsumu you alright?” Now he sounded concerned. 

“Yah sure.” I took his hand and tried to nod. Far, far away from convincingly. 

His hand in mine calmed me down a bit. I glued my eyes to the floor, I was not ready to look back in his dark eyes. 

On the way home, I first noticed that Kiyoomi was actually here much too early.   
Also, it didn't make sense that he was suddenly in the middle of town. 

"How, how did ya actually get here? Did ya sister drive early?"  
"No. I came here by train. Wanted to surprise you.” Honestly surprised, I blinked at him.   
Those were unexpected words coming out of his mouth. I scannet him, I mean is this the real Kiyoomi I know?

"By train? Ya never go by train, I mean ya never did before?" Kiyoomi looked to the side and avoided my gaze.   
He put on a bizarre and almost mysterious glance. So he was uncomfortable talking about it. But why? 

Was he forced to take the train and thats why he didn’t want to talk about it? Maybe he was just disgusted with the thought of the train?   
It took me a few moments to realize that he had taken the train only cause of me.   
Only to come see my stupid ass and be here early. 

At this point I was only waiting for lightning to strike me down. It was about time.

Omi had two thick lines on his forehead, so I quickly changed the subject.   
We could talk about this later. Even though I would love to hear on how he decided to use the train.   
He hates crowds and avoids them in any way possible. 

Also the main station is dirty, so how did he manage to survive there?   
I wanted to know but the mood wasn’t the best was such a grave conversation.

Samu's car was parked in front of the apartment and he was unloading some boxes.

"Oi, perfect timing guys. Can ya give me a hand?"   
He pointed at the boxes and I was about to tell him not to be a pain and carry his shit by himself, but Omi just nodded, all naturally and took one of the boxes. 

"Thanks, Omi- kun.”

"Sure. Just upstairs?" He huffed briefly. Samu nodded, then added "Best is the kitchen."   
Omi dutifully walked with the box towards the apartment.   
There it was. 

He took the opportunity and ran from me.   
I mean he technically walked into my flat but still.  
It felt like he ran away.

"Here Tsumu take these two, then we don't have to go down again."   
Samu took one of the boxes and put it in my arms and then bent down to lift another one.   
Angry, I looked at him, good timing my ass. Do I look like I want to carry his stupid boxes?   
All my bad feelings and all the bottled up anger at myself was about to unload on Samu. 

"Heard ya date didn't go so well-

"Samu for gods sake shut ya stupid trap will ya?!”   
Smooth he leaned against the car and than looked me up and down. 

As if he could see the betrayal sticking to me. 

"It wasn't a date. And you know it." I hissed back at him more quietly. 

"Okay. If yer say so. No need to yell idiot."  
"What?" angrily I dropped his stupid box and it slammed on the ground.   
He rolled his eyes fully annoyed with me and then looked sourly at the box I dropped. 

Neither of us flinched we just looked at each other in an aggressiv manner. 

“Tsumu, I never said ya would’ve done something. But you’re literally playing with fire. Ya knew very well my poor lil kohai had a huge crush on ya stupid ass.   
And cause you’re the biggest attention whore this planet has ever seen yer went for a coffee with him. All giggly and flirty. Ya beyond stupid.” 

I pulled myself together not to make a scene, although my fingers twitched to have a go at him.   
But instead, I picked up the box again and grimaced in his direction.   
I really didn’t want Omi to come back down here and have a scene of me and Samu fighting. 

He would ask why, I the answer to that would be my downfall.   
So I just calmly rolled my eyes at my brother. 

“I never asked for ya opinion. I sure as hell don’t need advice from someone who is secretly in love with his old best friend.”  
I didn’t need to draw blood, but he started it. 

“Ya piece of shit.”

“Shut it.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My brain says the story needs more smut o.O


	7. Rice

Atsumu’s POV 

"What's in all those boxes, anyway?" Omi was washing his hands in the kitchen and I carefully watched almost observed how he moved through the kitchen.  
He always made such a collected and calm impression. 

Samu on the other side made my blood boil. I would’ve liked to just beat him out of the apartment, I also didn't know why it pissed me off so much when he talked to Omi.  
"Rice. I'm trying different kinds to find the best one." Stupid idiot. It’s only rice. 

"So we had to lug 100 boxes of rice up here for a casting?" I complained immediately.  
Samu looked at me so bored, as if I were the uninvited guest. 

Omi sat down next to me at the table and my first instinct was to move closer to him, but I didn't want to be too obvious.  
So I just put my hand on his arm. 

I still felt the need to hold him as tight as possible.  
Something was off. I just couldn’t figure out what it was. But something in his face made me worried. 

"Will be my project for the weekend. Speaking of, Omi-kun how did your big uni project go?"  
Samu unwrapped his rice and Omi's eyes got a tiny bit brighter at the question. 

"Good, I finally turned it in. The days before were hell. Spent every day from morning till night in the bib. I'm so glad this project is finally done."  
For the first time today I saw his honest smile. I literally froze at the thought of his look earlier today. 

"It's such a relief when you finally get something big done. I've been working on the rice project since last week. 

There are just too many varieties. I spent the whole last weekend at the store and now I figured I'd better do it at home."  
Samu was handling the rice and I was hoping the lesson on boredom and unless information was finally over when Omi pulled his arm away from my hand. 

Lightning should’ve struck me. 

Confused, I looked towards him while he looked back and forth between Samu and me. 

"Tsumu, can I talk to you for a minute." He nodded towards my room and again fear gripped my throat.  
Samu refilled his rice while we excused ourselves and I walked to my room.  
Did he want to talk again about what happened outside the cafe? 

He must have been angry after all, I went through better apologies in my head but the walk from the kitchen to my room was just not long enough.  
The few steps were not enough to prepare me sufficiently for what was to come.  
I pressed my hands together and Omi folded his arms in front of his chest. Oh no. 

"Why did you lie to me?” Oh God no. 

"What do ya mean?" startled, I tried to read his face for what he meant, but I just couldn't figure it out. His black curls bounced up and down as he shook his head. 

Again everything about him seems annoyed and frustrated with me.

The temperature in the room had dropped several degrees. 

My brain just wasn't fast enough today, so instead I just looked at him, overwhelmed with fear. 

"You said, on the phone last week Samu promised your parents you two would help with the house last weekend and-

"Oh." I slapped my hand over my mouth and now my eyes widened with regret. Shit.  
I had completely forgotten about that.  
Fuck. Why is this happening. 

I panicked again and didn't know what to say. For the second time today I got this devastating look from Omi. 

My knees went soft and I wished the ground would open up so I could sink into it.  
"I can explain." I began softly. How shitty could my day actually get.  
"You better.” I gulped at his harsh tone. It was almost like a slap in the face. 

"I-I lied because I thought because of yer project it was too stressful for ya to come visit me.  
After ya fell asleep on your phone, I realised how exhausted ya must be and ya weren't even in practice so I thought… if I just cancelled on you, ya wouldn't feel bad. So I lied. I only had best intentions - my shaky voice broke off and got quieter and quieter. 

I was really about to burst into tears today. 

“I don’t appreciate being lied to.” His dark eyes looked around the room, he obviously avoided eye contact and I couldn't even blame him.  
How did I managed to make him this upset not once but twice in one day? 

"I just meant to… I thought I'd spare you the stress." My shoulders slumped.  
I couldn't stop kneading my hands and pulling my mouth to the side.  
On dear life of mine I really had only meant well when I lied.  
When he had fallen asleep on the phone I knew he would not be able to keep his promise anyway.  
He would’ve stressed himself unnecessarily and in the end he wouldn't have been able to come anyways. 

"Aren't ya going to say anything about it?" This silence was killing me. I was better when people yelled at me.  
Like Samu always did. But when people got quiet and didn't give a peep, it set off all of my alarm bells.  
And Kiyoomi was dangerously quiet. 

Silence was just never a good sign. I didn't want him to cradle me and I didn't want him to worry too much about it.  
He would overthink it. I mean it wasn’t such a big deal.  
But his face and his arms infant of his chest didn’t seem too forgiving.

The only sound he made was a loud exhale. 

"Omi, I'm sorry." I whispered, looking at him pleadingly to just say something, anything.  
But his attitude was so dismissive almost like a cold stone wall. 

Just the way when we had first met and he ignored me for good. He had not even breathed in my direction.  
And now we stood here for minutes without him giving me a single look. 

The longer it went on the more angry I got at myself. Sure lying was shitty, but I only did it for him.  
And now I felt like I was on the verge of my death sentence.  
I was absolutely sure he was happy to have the weekend off, but then why couldn't I get rid of this oppressive feeling inside of me.

The last thing I wanted was another fight. I was sick and tired of fighting. Our time was so precious, every second with him meant the world to me.  
But somehow the only thing I ever managed to do was upset him or annoy him only than to hope for forgiveness. 

I didn't want to be so dependent on another person.  
But somehow I was. 

"I guess I get where you’re coming from." Surprised to suddenly hear his voice I almost flinched.  
My eyes got all wide to take in every detail of his face. But he was so good at hiding his expressions.  
You could always read anything off my face. And he was just giving me nothing. 

"You didn't have to lie. I don't understand why you can't be honest with me?" This time I was the one avoiding eye contact. 

There was no answer to that question. At least not one that would satisfy him. It was also not a question I wanted to deal with in the slightest. 

Why were relationships so exhausting?  
This wasn't a minor disagreement, like a messy room, his crazy demands about almost everything I did, or an argument about who was better at volleyball.  
Not even the loud discussion from the other day about who was more exhausting could top this situation. 

"I'm being honest to ya. I just didn't want to stress you out on top of all ya important uni stuff. Yer always so busy with uni. When ya being honest I just helped ya out.”  
I wiggled both hands and Omi raised an eyebrow questioning every of my life decisions. 

"Are you even taking this seriously? Not everything in life is a joke. The project was important. I still tried everything I could to see you this weekend."  
I decided it would be the best to just shut up.  
No stupid comment about him constantly accusing me of the same things. 

"I've been calling you every night to hear how things are going in college, that's all I can do really.” What more does he want from me. 

"Sometimes life is stressful and you have to put your own needs aside,"  
This reproach hit me unexpectedly.  
I opened my mouth to do as I really wanted and shout at this idiot, but then it really hit me. 

Kiyoomi looked so exhausted. Thats what put me off the whole time.  
He look tierd.  
Dark circles on his face no spark in his eyes and he stood there like he was about to fall asleep. 

Was it me? Was I really such a demanding person? 

Surrendered, I ran a hand through my hair and then nodded briefly. 

No doubt, he look like that because of me. 

"Let's go to the hot springs. I always get vouchers from the team, and the others said that the one near here is really great. So, ya know to make up? I don't want to argue. And you've had a hard week," And I don't want to make it any harder.

Perplexed, Omi’s dark eyes pierced me, as if he had to go through the pros and cons in his head first.  
As if he didn't fully trust me, but I remained hopeful and started to smile. 

After all, he didn't hold grudges. 

But there was something in his look that I couldn't quite interpret.  
Distrust? Fear?  
I didn't really know, but maybe it would go away by itself.  
One did not always have to clarify everything with words. Maybe it was the exhaustion.

After another unbearably long moment in which he left me hanging in the air, his lips pulled into a small smile.  
As if the sun was finally shining again, he nodded. 

"I guess that's a pretty good idea. But first I want to see the online rating.” I rolled my eyes for a moment, fucking little freak. 

We sat down on my bed and he googled the place to get an idea, nodding after each review he read through. 

"Looks good." Yay.  
Well, thank goodness we got that green stamp of approval from Kusa-san.  
Of course, I forced myself to not make any comments about his absurd cleanliness requirements. 

He closed the laptop and smiled at me, I took this as an invitation to press my lips to his.  
I cuped his cheeks with my hands and felt his warmth on my finger tips.  
Finally I felt like home again.  
Like weight was lifted off my shoulders.  
There was nothing on this earth I missed so much like his lips. 

“I love ya.” 

“Sure.” His delicate voice sting right trough my heart.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Samu hitting us with the rice!


	8. Warm

Kiyoomi’s POV 

This was pure paradise.   
The warm water was so incredibly relaxing.   
Although Tsumu's mere presence disturbed the peace and quiet, I enjoyed every second of it. 

There were hardly any people here, which was really pleasant. In fact, I had had enough of other people around me for today and for the rest of my life.  
I just felt physically and emotionally exhausted. 

Even after exercising, I wasn't nearly this terribly exhausted. Somehow this whole day had been incredibly absurd.   
First my adventures at the train station, then this cafe surprise situation, and then this whole discussion with Tsumu. 

I was leaning half asleep with my head on the edge of the pool and without even opening my eyes I could see where Tsumu was happily splashing around.   
We were in the quiet area and yet the room was filled with his humming, giggling and whatever else he was doing to produce such a volume. 

“Omi ya asleep?" actually I couldn't help but laugh. I opened my eyes with difficulty to see Tsumu skipping through the water like a child only to stop right next to me.   
Of course, not without splashing water around him. 

"Am awake. This one was a good idea" Tsumu grinned with satisfaction and wrapped both arms around me.   
The warm towel almost flew off my head as Tsumu hugged me and pulled me to his chest. 

How was I supposed to sleep with him bouncing around me all the time. 

Tsumu's grip tightened just a bit and he leaned his rosy cheek against my shoulder.   
His wet hair stuck to my skin and with a small smirk I leaned back again.   
Why couldn't it always be this peaceful. The silence and the warmth were really a relief.   
And the few seconds in which even Tsumu appreciated it, gave the moment almost something special.   
Earlier I really thought I'd run back to the station and go straight home. This crazy back and forth was so draining.   
Why did he keep lying to me, no matter what the reason was. If you can't say it out honestly what's the point of even having a relationship.   
After all honesty was one of the absolute basic building blocks. Every person on this planet knew this.

Did he trust me so little that he preferred to tell a lie? Or was he just tired of arguing with me all the time.   
I always gave in, I rarely insisted stubbornly on my point.   
Such a thing was to be expected only from this blond idiot. He was, after all, the master of absurd mood swings.   
What I would give to be able to clean up properly in his head.   
I just didn't understand him. Sometimes I had the feeling that I would never be able to really understand him. 

Although this day was beyond crappy and as soon as I had time to myself I would have a panic attack about what was happening, my heart melted as Tsumu spread feather light kisses on my collarbone all the way to my shoulder. 

Briefly, my eyes flew around the room once, but we were still alone. I relaxed and watched Tsum's back muscles move slightly the more he wrapped his arms around me.   
That sight always made me weak.  
Just send the chills down my spin. 

"Tsum we are in public someone might come in- his brown eyes flashed excitedly.   
"That's exactly the fun part." He lifted his head and kissed me before I could voice any more concerns.   
Although it was supposed to be warm in here, I was getting almost unbearably hot right now.   
Tsumu's far too skilled hands played with me as if they had never done anything else.   
His lips took hold of mine, taking in every little moan of mine with a greedy smirk. 

I hadn't forgotten for a moment that we were in public, but I still couldn't do anything about it.   
Any resistance that was in me melted away under his touch. 

All I could do was keep scanning the room for other visitors, my senses were under the greatest tension.   
I tried at the same time to pay attention to my surroundings and to suppress every moan that made its way from my throat to the surface. 

The fear of getting caught was running like a countdown in my head, it just had to happen.   
But Tsumu didn't seem to be afraid at all, his body pressed me tightly against the wall while his lips drove me insane.   
“Ya the sweetest thing I ever tasted.” I drew in my breath sharply. Much too loud, we were much too loud.   
“Can’t get enough of ya. Omi-Omi.” his voice was pure honey mixed with the danger of getting caught. 

I couldn't return his messy kisses anymore, I needed more oxygen and wanted to hold my breath at the same time.  
I pressed my hand in front of my lips to stifle the moans. 

I closed my eyes soaking the pleasure in, but had to tear them open when Tsumu grabbed my wrist and pulled it away from my mouth. 

“Wanna hear ya scream my name when I make ya cum.”

“Fuck you Miya.” trembling with every word, the actually serious meant warning came out soft as butter.

I wanted to be quiet, but couldn't.   
I wanted to flee, but couldn't.   
I wanted to scream, but couldn't.   
“The only one I’m fucking is you Omi-Omi. And looks like ya really enjoying it. Am right Sweetheart?”   
In pure disbelief of what this person was doing to me I shook my head. Just made him laugh. 

“Wish ya could see how pretty ya look all desperate for me.” 

Only took him a few more minutes and with a scream trapped in my core I came. 

I couldn’t even catch my breath scared to the max for someone walking in on us.

I watched Tsumu giving me a soft kiss. Weak like an exhausted fish, done with fighting for its live I let myself fall more on Tsumu.   
At least he was a steady. 

But his hands wouldn’t leave me alone. His lips glued to mine, not letting me catch my breath. 

In absolut horror I tried to get away from him, but he wouldn’t let me. He just continued. 

I clawed his strong shoulder not just for support but to get him back to reality.   
My own body was useless, turned into a weapon against me. 

“Tsumu stop I- you’re gonna make me come again- please I can’t I - dear god someone has to walk in on us any second.   
I couldn’t even think straight anymore. 

My vision was so blurry, all I saw was this Tsumu’s little smile.   
I was lost, about to drown in pleasure and panic. 

“Oh baby, I’m not stopping till ya screaming my name. I already told ya.”

Fucking bastard.


	9. Busted

Kiyoomi’s POV 

“Omi ya just needed to relax."

The only thing on this planet I really wanted from the bottom of my heart was to relax.   
But what I couldn't do because of a bad blond person, was to relax. 

"I can't believe it. That is by far the funniest story I've ever heard." Samu had been laughing for several minutes now, holding onto the kitchen island to keep from losing his balance.   
I had given up on stopping Atsumu, the man with no shame, from bringing this embarrassing moment up again and again. 

"It's not like we really got caught. Those people only came in after we were done. Alright, guess they came in at the same time we did."   
Horrified at this brash comment, I shook my head. I had both arms crossed on the kitchen table above my head and would never see the light of day again. 

I had to leave the country and change my name.   
I could feel the heat on my face, my cheeks were probably still glowing and would never return to a normal color. 

"Omi-kun, don't worry about it something like that happened to me before."  
I think Samu was just trying to calm me down, but that didn't make it any better. It just means that Samu is not the sensible one of the two, but both share the same DNA.   
I felt Tsumu's hands on my neck sliding down on my shoulders giving me something like a massage to calm me down. 

But the only thought in my head was that those very hands had gotten me into so much trouble.   
That damn son of a bitch. Why couldn't he just be a normal person.   
I always have to put up with his crazy little actions, or get dragged along.   
Not that I wasn't having fun, hell that was one of the best times in my life for sure, but somehow that fact only made it worse.   
"Come on Omi-Omi.” Tsumu leaned against me and I felt his breath on the back of my neck. 

"You're the worst."

"I didn't force ya." Suspiciously I raised my head and looked at him reproachfully. 

He practically bathed in my disapproving gaze and there was a delightful smile on his lips.   
I knew he didn't have a guilty conscience. Oh no, he was enjoying this way to much.  
It was fascinating and frightening at the same time. I was plagued by my conscience from the beginning and here he was, living his best life.   
Samu continued to cook his rice and grinned happily to himself. He would surely tell others and then I would have to fake my own death. 

Tsumu overly provoked his good luck even as we were laying down in bed after that tumultuous day.   
"It's a good thing too, even if we split up, you'll always think of me in bathhouses."   
Despite the darkness I could see his stupid smile on his lips.  
I didn't even have to open my eyes for that, something that stupid could only come from one person on this planet. 

"Oh I see, so you're planning to break up with me soon?" I was lying with my head on his chest and his fingers were playing with my hair as usual.   
"That's not what I meant, I was just saying now ya have a hot memory of me. In terms of bathhouses and stuff. Ya welcome."

"Miya. I'm about to smack you." I threatened him in all seriousness. The thought of the bathhouse made me dizzy.   
Both, in a good and a bad way.   
"Oh, ya think I'm scared of ya Omi-chan.” his chest rose and fell from laughing, shacking me with him. 

“You better should. Gonna hit you with my serving hand.” 

“Oh now we’re talking. Have ya seen my serves lately. I could break ya.” He pinched my cheeks which made me smile. 

“Aha sure. Maybe you should watch out, my servers are getting pretty good. One would even say better than Mr Miya Atsumu’s.”   
I knew how to push his bottoms, and it was kinda funny.   
He snap his hand over his lips. I felt his biceps tensing. So easy. 

“Who said that? Wanna go out now and show me those servers, bet ya can’t even-

“Getting jealous? Poor lil Tsum -Tsum.” No way I was getting out of bed. It was warm and comfy.   
But somehow I wasn't quite sure if Tsumu wasn't serious after all.   
He was an impulsiv idiot, I did get scared that he would force me to play volleyball with him outside in the middle of the night.   
After all, it wouldn't be the first time something like that happened.   
"Ya don't really think ya serves are better than mine, do ya? I'm a pro player and you're in the college league. Me-

“For gods sake Tsumu. I was kidding. I was just joking around, teasing you idiot cause you were teasing me the whole day. How about you just chill for once.” 

He was such an unbelievably insufferable weirdo.  
I heard him mumble something like "sorry" but I already lifted my head and turned away from him with the pillow.   
“No, come back.” He instantly whined and I rolled my eyes.   
Not a second later he spooned me, crushing me forcefully under his hug. 

“Now you gonna literally crush me.” I complained. 

“I didn’t mean it.” He whispered. But he did mean it. I knew he did.   
No matter what he said I knew he didn’t think much of College Volleyball.   
He was the Pro and I was an idiot for going to uni. But this was a path to no where.   
This wouldn’t lead any where peaceful only to another fight and the last thing I wanted was to have an argument about which Volleyball league was the best.   
He was so full of himself and a presumptuous asshole. But saying that would equal in packing my shit and going home.

“Ya giving me the cold shoulder now?” He exhaled way too dramatic and made me smile with his stupid hands pinching me. 

“Yes.” I had to turn around and immediately he dived into my chest and hugged his arms around me.   
His hair smelled of all the oils and the water from the hot springs which I really liked, even though now the memory made me blush. 

“Omi?” When was this person finally gonna shut up?

“What is it?” His head lifted and I opened my eyes to him directly staring into mine. 

“Ya not gonna leave me cause of all my bullshit, right?”  
His honesty caught me by surprise and I just blinked in confusion. 

“No, what the fuck. Tsumu I’m not going to leave you. I mean you are an idiot. Like a really big one. But I love you.”   
What kind of crazy was this person.   
“Sorry, just wanted to make sure.” His head bumped back on my chest. 

He fell asleep just like that leaving me confused and worried.   
I could feel myself starting to overthink every detail of this day.   
Tsumu was damn loud even in his sleep and threw his hands around. But that didn't bother me anymore, I had gotten used to it. 

But now that I was awake and could think about this whole day, everything really hit me.   
The longer I thought about it, the more this situation upset me. I never held grudges or needed grand gestures or anything.   
But did I really have to put up with so much crap? 

Somehow his question confused me.   
Did he really think I wanted to break up?   
Before the cafe he had seemed incredibly caught, I believed him when he said it wasn't a date and he wouldn't cheat on me.   
But was that just the beginning?   
I wouldn't necessarily have more time for him with exams and university and he would go on games overseas starting in a few weeks.   
I didn't mind a long distance relationship but I also knew Tsumu's opinion on it and he didn't think anything of it.   
Just like he didn't think anything of my college training.   
Or my college stuff. Or my hygiene requirements. He hadn't really said anything about my success at the station either, but that was my own fault.   
I could hardly expect him to be happy for me if I didn't tell the whole truth. I was no better than him in that aspect. 

I already knew what was going to happen, but somehow at the same time I didn't want to see it.   
What if it was already too late? 

What if we were already sailing towards disaster and it was too late to abandon ship?   
If he was afraid that I would leave him because of his behaviour, was he the one who misjudged the situation or me? 

So no sleep for me, tonight I guess.


End file.
